I thought I had made myself clear but, apparently, no. He blitzkriegs my inbox with neurotic e-mails about his ongoing gastrointestinal distress...with more details than I care to read. This latest round, he believes, was brought on by bad food on a business trip, although his doctor recently prescribed antibiotics so, apparently, something else is up (but we won't get into that touchy subject now, kids). But instead of taking the pills, he says he'll keep them "in reserve just in case" he needs them, stockpile them along with cases of Snapple apple, party-sized bags of Doritos and several pounds of marijuana. Because you never know when Armageddon will come....
Yesterday, during my daily walk into town, I saw him on the street. He saw me and turned immediately, pretending not to see me. His shirt was tucked into his shorts, and he looked fat. I was glad.
Every day apart from him...I realize just how strange he is. And because I was once much the same as he is now, I know that all the years of alcohol and drug abuse make you raw on the inside....and can even cause intestinal problems.
I feel better now. I have worked very hard to put my past indiscretions (overindulging alcohol, excessive burping and farting in bed with my lovers, etc.) behind me. I need to find a man who is on the same path as I, someone who doesn't snore.
Going to get a free (long overdue) make-over at Sephora on Monday morning in KOP. Ecstatic!
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3 comments:
No, no, no. You (or someone like you) had suggested that some time ago, so I took a look and immediately thought no, not for me. Not my type. And another thing...has it occurred to you that I might be a fictional character?
LOL! If the poster reads at all he would know you are a fictional character, Dolores Haze. If the poster was a woman she would know you were a man, LOL.
You post as a female and you try hard, but no matter how many 'hormones you've been given' and no matter how you claim to dress yourself, your very mind is not female.
Enjoy yourself trying to be one of us! You have a ways to go before you understand the female mind.
Of course, I am not actually a female (although that is my ultimate goal) and have been open about that from the beginning. It is, at times, very difficult trying to fit in. I've been frank about that in this blog, candidly describing my misadventures along the way. I don't use my real name here for obvious reasons. It isn't easy being me.
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